Monday, July 6, 2009

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THE CHINESE

Learning Chinese from Google and Youtube can be very rewarding.


I am a woman with many faces, perhaps because my birth sign is Gemini. Between sunrise and sunset, I dress as a nun or yogini, and at night I can be quite the opposite of what a nun is supposed to be. Yet I always hold on to my 168 Buddhist vows that I took years ago in the Tsuglakhang or Dailai Lama Temple, no matter what I do.

I am a writer and a painter, and as you know, I have been learning Chinese style brush paintings these past few months. I am not even sure whether I am good at it. Firstly, I don’t have the proper material. The local Chinese shops only sells 7-Thai Baht brushes that fall apart when you look at them. Forget about trying to find Chinese ink or proper rice paper. I have tried my best finding the right materials in Chinatown… but no, they only sell plastic rubbish “Made in China”. So painting bamboo with inappropriate materials is like trying to build a car with bicycle parts and make it run like a Ferrari.

I also don’t write Mandarin, yet I do my best to calligraphy some characters that I Google. My dear Chinese friends say they can’t read them, but I guess they are all from Canton and missed a few lessons at school. Even I can recognize the words for Love in Mandarin!

Anyway, insecure as I am I always need my sounding boards to check the words I write for my novels, and today I thought that I needed an opinion of an expert Chinese brush painter. I contacted a nice Chinese lady who has videos on Youtube and teaches people Chinese brush paintings. I wanted to know what she thought of my bamboo. There are really nice people in this world, because the lady sent me this lovely letter.

Dear Pantau,

I immediately fell in love with you as soon as I opened up your website. Please do not misunderstand me. Your beauty, your grace and your faith radiated through space. I was deeply touched by your extraordinary life. I salute you for devoting yourself to the cause you believe in.

I went to your blog and saw some bamboo paintings there. They are beautiful. They are you. Each of our painting is a reflection of our heart. The elegance, the strength, and the softness, tenderness is the description of yourself.

I love them. Please go ahead and do more. Totally free yourself, let your hand be the messenger of your heart.

Send me picture of your later works, I will do a video to point out some techniques if you do not mind.

Love and repect to my dear lady,

Haiying Yang
http://www.yanghaiying.com
http://www.youtube.com/yanghaiying
http://chinesepaintingclass.blogspot.com
http://silkpaintingclass.blogspot.com

Isn’t that nice? I am always so surprised to receive lovely letters from Chinese people, because I always fear that they may think I must be anti China, because I am pro Tibet. Those who know me know that I love China (despite the fact that I am blacklisted and unable to travel to China). I love its people, its culture and arts and many of my Thai friends are actually of Chinese descent. Even the man I love happens to be 100% Chinese.
So here is a painting I just made for Ms Haiying Yang. I hope it will find her approval.

My most recent attempt at painting bamboo.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thai-style birthday party

Tonight I had a birthday party of a friend of mine in Pattaya. It was held in a gay bar and the entertainment was provided by (off off) Tiffany and Alcazar ladyboy showgirls.

A Japanese Love Story, sort of....

Last night I was interested in watching a movie. My friend Matthew is very good at downloading movies illegally from the internet and I had asked him to put some Japanese movies on my flash drive, preferably with English, Dutch, German, French, Italian, Spanish, Hindi or Tibetan subtitles, so that I could understand what they were saying, as I don’t speak Japanese.

Matthew had downloaded 16 movies, including some stuff from History Channel about the Tibetan Book of the Dead, as well as Angels and Demons, and three Japanese movies. I was particularly interested in the Japanese movie “A Love Story” with Koike Teppei and Eji Wentz. I first clicked Angels and demons but after 15 minutes I got so bored, I deleted the movie and prayed to the Buddha for Hollywood never to release such boring rubbish ever again.

So I clicked a movie that didn’t have a title. I enjoy a good surprise. It was a two-hour and four minute movie.

The opening scene.
Fade in.
Office worker works at a desk, dressed in a suit. Camera shifts to door. Someone enters the room and tells the young man that the CEO wants to speak with him, as he’s not happy with the man’s performance.
The boy gets up. Fade out.

Fade in. The CEO’s office. Shot of the door. Zoom out. Boy enters the room. The CEO is dressed in a black suit, white shirt with French cuffs and he is wearing a mask.

(Oy. What the heck?)

CEO sits down in his CEO chair and orders the boy in the suit to sit down.

There is only one chair in the room.

Boy asks: "Where should I sit?"

“You sit on my lap,” the CEO orders.

Boy is mystified, but he sits down on the masked CEO’s lap. The CEO starts to fondle the boy.

Zoom in on the chest of the boy.
“Do you like me to touch your nipples?”
"No, please don't touch me there!"
"Would you like me to touch you there?"
CEO touches the young man on his private parts.

(Okay. I took a deep breath. Interesting.)

CEO continues to rubs the boy on the nipples and sticks his tongue in the boy’s mouth.
The boy protests. CEO orders more staff in suits to come in.
Zoom out. Total shot of the room.
The other staff members in suits undress the boy, kiss him, rub his private parts, take off their ties and tie the boy’s hands to his feet. CEO starts to orally work on the boy’s private parts while the other staff members start to spray the boy with lubricant from a very large bottle. All sorts of vibrating plastic toys “Made in Korea” appear and they soon disappear into the boy or are being used to rubs him on the nipples.

(Oy. Now I am hooked.)

Five more staff members wearing only underwear are ordered in and after the CEO has seriously intercoursed the boy, he orders the 5 staff members to urinate on the boy’s face. And so they do. Zoom in.

(Oy.)
CEO says. "I think this is enough punishment. I hope you will do a better job. You can go back to work now."
(Swallow. Really... should I move to Japan and be lousy at my job?)

I am forty minutes into this movie and wonder whether I am still interested in watching History Channel’s The Tibetan Book of the Dead.

My husband walks in.
I switch off my computer.
“What are you doing, my little princess?”
“Honey. I think you are going to get very lucky tonight,” I say with a big smile. "Where are my Korean toys?"

I know the above is quite a strange thing to write for a former nun, but what the heck. I live in Thailand now.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Recycling Thai style


They recycle in Thailand. They separate plastic from paper, batteries from latex, paint from glass. They just do not separate it at home or in containers down the street. The garbage collectors who collect the rubbish at the end of the day stand in the back of the garbage truck, opening garbage backs and check the contents. Plastic, food left over, condoms, needles, other sharp things, rotting fish left-over, fetuses, whatever (without gloves or protective clothing). Whenever there is a dead baby in the garbage, they call the police. The police call the media stations and they send camera crews over to report on the discovery of dead babies. I do not know how they find out about the origin of the baby, but they always claim that the dead babies are from Cambodian, Lao or Burmese descent. Perhaps because Thai people would never put babies in the garbage?

Welcome to Thailand.

Soon a story about the IQ of Thai people and why the Ministry of Education feels embarrassed that Thailand ranks as low as they do (and why the number one university offered me a job as an English languague professor, despite the fact that English isn't my mother tongue and that I am not a qualified or certified teacher).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

AM I REAL OR FAKE?

Is this a real photo?


Rejected

Shortlisted but rejected


Rejected

Rejected

Accepted but needed a little retouching
.

Today I received a letter from someone who had bought my novel Pantau in India. She wanted to know whether everything in the book is true and whether the photo used for the front cover was real.

Errrrrrr.

I have had a few similar letters over the past years, and I was even asked on live radio and during television interviews whether the information I provided in my autobiography was real or true.

Errrrrr.

Regarding the photo. I don’t really understand why people think the photo is not real. I asked them about it.

“Well, it looks as if you have been cut out of another photo and placed among a bunch of Tibetan monks.

“O”.

So, it appears that I am not really sitting for real among those monks eh?

Let me enlighten you. The photo is real. It was taken by Angus MacDonald, a Dharamsala photographer. The concept of the photo and book cover was mine. I thought it would make a lovely cover if I would sit among a bunch of maroon clad monks. I intended to ask some monk friends to pose for the photo and be very Streisand about the light and composition, but there was a teaching going on at the Dalai Lama temple and there was no need for posing and the light available was natural. I just sat down on the floor surrounded by monks while Angus hovered around me with his camera taking about 300 pictures of which 299 were rejected. The monks knew me and I just told them “Keep praying and listening to the Dalai, Angus is taking a photo for a book cover.

So here are some rejected photos of the same photo shoot. I must say that the photo that got shortlisted was a little retouched as I had some nasty shadow on my face and I asked the photoshopper, a nice Japanese girl, to get rid of the rings under my eyes as well. As for the rest, the photo is real as you can see for yourself.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What I do when I don't write.





So what do I do when I am between blogger posts or fiction novel chapters? I paint. I paint traditional Chinese brush paintings. I paint fish such as koi and carps, water lilies, lotus flowers, but my favourite subject is bamboo. I even manage to add a little Chinese characters to it, though I don't speak Chinese, nor can I write Chinese. I just collect short poems about bamboo and fish in Chinese and copy them. Each painting gets its finishing touch by adding the artist's stamp in red. I have two signature stamps: the smaller one depicts a pen-feather and my European initials V.R. The little feather represents my nickname in Dutch. People tend to call me Little Feather in the Netherlands. The bigger red stamp has my Tibeto/Sino name of Pantau or Pantao, a peach reputed to be food for Taoist fairies. I tend to sell my painting between 1000 and 3000 THB, but most of the time, I give them away as presents. One painting is going to be hanging in a restaurant in Pattaya. It will be given to the owner on his birthday on 5 July.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Finding a needle in Bangkok

The Baiyoke Sky Tower Hotel, Bangkok. The highest hotel in South-East Asia.

.
I had a bit of a situation on Wednesday night. I was supposed to meet my good friend Hao at 8 p.m. somewhere near his home in South-East Bangkok. As he had moved to another home, I didn’t know his exact address. He said he now lived somewhere in a pink coloured 4 story apartment building in a residential area off Sathurpradit Road. The plan was that I would call him at 8 p.m., the moment I arrived somewhere on the main road from which he would collect me. So after a two hour journey from my home outside Pattaya south-east of Bangkok by public transportation, a half hour journey on the sky train and an hour long journey in a taxi to Saturpradit Road, I called him. Some Thai person answered his mobile phone and didn’t speak any English. In my best Thai I tried to asked the guy who he was and what my friend’s mobile phone was doing in his hand. Was my friend near him?
And then he hung up. So I called again. Someone else answered in broken English, explaining to me that my friend had forgotten his phone.
Where was the phone?
Don Mueng.
Don Mueng is in the north of Bangkok, about a two-hour drive. I started to get a little verklempt. How on earth was I going to meet up with my friend? It was 9.30 p.m., an hour and a half after I was supposed to show up somewhere on that long avenue.
So I hoped my friend was smart enough to call his own number, leave some instructions as to where we could meet near his home. I guess I am the only practical person in this part of the world. I called his number again, but there was no answer. I called again, and then I started hearing a beep, indication that my battery was running low. Five minutes later, it went dead.
A few Jesus fucking Christ’s issued from my mouth. I was sweaty, tired, anxious, pissed off, and in need of a toilet-break. No cafés in the area though, it was all residential.
I took a deep breath and decided to go into a side street. I arrived in a typical Bangkokian residential area with a mix of middle-class and working class people. At this time, most people were still out on the street.
It occurred to me that most of them had never seen a white person before, so after wandering through this labyrinth of wooden bungalows and concrete apartment blocks, people started to ask me where I was going.
“I am trying to find my friend who must live in this area.”
The area was about half a square mile. More people became curious.
“My friend is a Chinese. He is 1.83 and good-looking. He’s a college professor. Do you know him?”
Go to Manhatten and ask somewhere on Broadway if they can help you out with such information.
One guy asked me about his address.
“I don’t know. He lives on the top floor of an apartment building with 4 floors. The building is pink. That’s all I know.”
I looked around me. Lots of pink coloured concrete in this area.
“Teacher you said. Does he have a lot of Philipino friends?”
“I think so. Yes, he has a lot of Philipino colleagues. Do you know my friend?”
“No. But there are a lot of Philipino teachers in this area as there is a large college further down the avenue.”
A policeman showed up. “What are you looking for?”
“My friend’s house. It’s pink. He’s a Chinese man, 25 years old, 1.83, he wears a school uniform and he has many Philipino friends.”
“Madam, there are a lot of Chinese in this area.”
“I know. I can see.”
The policeman took me to a shop, run by an Indian who had a Philipino friend. By now, a group of about 20 children and a grandmother, and a curious woman my age followed me in my wake. The Indian wasn’t able to help, but the old lady suddenly said: “Does your friend have a bruised face?”
“Yes, he was in a major accident and he is recovering from facial injuries.”
“I know him. He always walks through my alley in his school uniform. I don’t know where he lives, but I can take you to my street.”
So I followed her to her street where the lady asked around. There was a girl who knew Chen Hao. “He lives in a pink building, right?”
”Yes, I saw a picture of his building on Facebook.”
“The girl took me to a pink building a few hundred metres deeper into the labyrinth, followed by the policeman, the Indian, twenty, children, a boy in a wheelchair, a woman my age, and a grandmother. I passed some small factories, a rubbish dump, some shops, some new middle-class buildings, two wooden bungalows that were burned down to the ground not so long ago, more little grocery shops, some food stalls, more people, and finally there was a orange building and a pink and white building. The pink and white building I recognized from the picture. “Yes, this must be it.”
However, the building’s main door was locked. So I yelled, “CHEN HAO,” and hoped he was at home and able to hear me. No answer. A lady with a key suddenly showed up. She opened the door and took me to the top floor. There were five doors. All doors were closed. Nobody was at home. One apartment had the lights on, but there were six pairs of female shoes in front of the door. One door had a Chinese good luck sign on it. The lights were off. This must be Chen Hao’s home. I could almost smell him. However, he wasn’t at home.
The lady with the key, guided me downstairs, as by now I was really tired and upset and I had made an alternative plan. I would take a taxi, leave, and go home.
However, a little voice inside me said: You really want to see Chen Hao, and he is somehow looking for you on the big avenue. I decided to stay put and sit in front of the door until he returned home after an unsuccessful search.
Thirty minutes later, a Philipino man showed up whom I recognized as one of Chen Hao’s colleagues. He recognized me to. He lived on the top floor of the pink and white building and offered me to wait for Hao in his room.
I used the toilet, drank half a bottle of water as the outside temperature and pollution had gotten to me, and sat down on a mat. I sighed.
“I don’t know where Hao is, but he normally goes to an internet café down the street every evening. He normally returns at around 11.”
“We were supposed to meet at 8, so I think he’s not in an internet cafe.”
His phone rang. “It’s for you. It’s Chen Hao.”
“Hi, Hao, it’s Pantau. Where are you? Don Mueng? Yeah I know. You forgot your phone. What the hell were you doing in Don Meung? Okay. Well, see you in an hour then.”

An hour and a half later, we had dinner. We were both upset with each other. I was upset, because this whole situation didn’t make me happy, and he was upset that I took the situation so seriously.
After dinner, I realised that my friend lived a life-style comparable to mine in India. He didn’t have a bed, but a bamboo mat on the floor in a room as large as my bathroom. He did have running water in the back and something that looked like a shower and a toilet.
After a refreshing shower, a one-hour talk and a big hug we fell asleep at 1 a.m. He was supposed to get up at 6, as classes started at 8.
The next day, after a few appointments, I was able to find his home by myself. We spent the entire evening talking, even in the internet café that we visited to check our emails. I couldn’t sleep on the bamboo mat last night. I guess I was no longer used to Indian living conditions.
I returned to my home near Pattaya an hour ago. I had taken some pictures of Hao and I and some pictures and video of the Bangkok Sky train. However, I wanted to delete one bad picture, but accidentally pressed the button: DELETE ALL. So all my photos and videos are gone. I guess I was a little too tired to operate my camera well.


Hao

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

THE LIFE OF A FLY

Last night, I had a conversation with a few friends about my post on Barack Obama killing a fly and that some people found me a little fanatical about cherishing every life of every sentient being.
“But it was just a fly,” a friend said.
My answer: “And you are just a Thai. And that guy is just a negro. And I heard Muslims say: it’s good, they were just 3000 Americans in the WTC. There should have been more. And Nazi’s used to say: these Jews and homophiles and Roma are just vermin. And the Japanese say: we like to eat whaless, and shark fins. And others like dolphin meat. And some Chinese eat dogs. They are just dogs.”
This time, everybody got my point, and agreed that every life is precious and that one should not feel gratified or take pleasure in killing any other sentient being, even if it is the life of a fly.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE… EVERYWHERE


Two stories plus conclusion.

Story 1.

Many Thais drive like crazy. 100 km per hour through a city centre is no exception. They drive scooters without helmets as if there is no tomorrow. Neither do they mind being on a scooter or in a car completely drunk. Traffic rules do not appear to exist. Almost every time I go outside, I see people colliding with each other. Bam! Again I see a bunch of people lying all about the asphalt, bleeding. Yesterday: three scooters carrying a total of 9 girls. Bam. The day before yesterday, collision between truck and van. Bam: a dozen people bleeding. The day before: my taxi collided with a scooter driven by a girl. My response; get out and run away, as there is a policy in Thailand; It’s always the fault of the foreigner. They reason: If you hadn’t been in our country, this would not have happened. Even if you sit in the back of a taxi.
So millions of Thais die in accidents every year.

Story 2.

People love hair extensions all over the world. They are glued to the base of their own hair and suddenly they have hair one or two feet longer. It’s often natural hair from Asia. People think there are tons of poor girls with long hair that have their hair cut in order to make some money. In Thailand you can buy a two foot ponytail of natural hair for about 1500 baht. Not expensive really. Last year I had my hair cut and after two days I regretted my new short bob. I considered hair extensions. However, I learned something so horrific, I decided not have my hair extended.

Conclusion:

Dead girls get cremated in Thailand. Most Thai girls have long hair, often down to their waist. And would’t it be a waste to have that hair cremated? So the cremators shave off the hair of dead girls a make a lucrative business out of selling that hair to hair salons.

So next time you buy a wig or have your hair extended with natural hair: it’s not hair from living poor girls, but from dead girls, rich or poor.

To me it doesn’t feel good to walk around with a dead girl’s hair on my head. “How about you?” I asked a friend with hair extensions.
“Would you reject a donor kidney of a dead Thai girl?” my friend asked.
“Well….”

So, again a good subject for discussion.

THE FATE OF THE DEAD FLY AND BARACK OBAMA


Last night I told my friends I have been called crazy and fanatical by some people and that I should join the crazy people of Peta.

What happened?

I criticized Barack Obama for killing a fly. Not because the fly disrupting the interview, but because Obama obviously enjoyed the act of killing the fly.

We all kill small living beings, including the Dalai Lama and me. We may accidentally step or sit on one, we may crush an insect deliberately because it is bothering us. We may even destroy entire ant colonies with toxic spays, but to enjoy the act of killing and smiling and giggling after killing another sentient being is not done. As a Buddhist I vowed not to kill. It’s the first precept of the first 5 vows. Not to kill any sentient being. Why not? Would you enjoy being killed because someone else thinks your bothering him, you are a pest, you don’t look right in his eyes? No sentient beings enjoys suffering or dying, including flies and mosquitoes. Oh, can we kill malaria mosquitoes?Yes, is my answer. They may kill a more precious sentient being and we will prevent a malaria mosquito from killing another sentient being, thus preventing her from creating bad merit, upon which the soul of the malaria mosquito may be reborn in a more precious sentient being.

A few days ago, I was having breakfast in a Chinese restaurant. I fly landed into my coffee. I took the fly out of the coffee with the teaspoon, and dried it off with a napkin. Five minutes later, he flew off, probably being very happy. The staff was baffled by my compassion and offered me a free coffee.

Conclusion, sometimes we save flies, sometimes we kill, sometimes it’s even a good thing, but don’t take pleasure out of killing.