In the fall of 2001, I was talking to some friends of mine in Dharamsala. I told them I had found it a little nippy in the Himalayas the previous winter and asked them if they knew a nice place in India where I could walk around in a “bed sheet” on flip-flops without getting cold. They told me they always spend their winters in Varkala, in the very south of India. According to them it was a very special place. It had some mystery about it.
On November 26, 2001, I decided to travel down south. The moment I arrived in Varkala, I was in love with it. In 2001, Varkala was only known to the experienced back-packer and those foreigners who lived in India. It was only a little developed back then and the local fishermen still camped out on the beach at night close to their traditional wooden boats. There was a small Tibetan community as well that ran some Tibetan artifacts and handicraft shops on the 30-metre high cliff above the beach. There were few low-budget guesthouses hidden in the palm tree forest and about ten open-air restaurants and shops, all constructed from biodegradable construction material such as local palm leaves.
One day I was chatting with my new friends, Tenzin and Dolker, a Tibetan couple that ran a little Tibetan shop close to the place I was staying in. Though Tenzin had little education, he was fluent in English to the extend that he was able to teach me English words I never heard of before. Apart from that, he was one of the most spiritual Tibetans I have ever met. We would speak every day for hours about the workings of the matrix of the universe. One day he suggested me to be silent for a few weeks. Just don’t speak, observe and learn, was his advice. When I was done with being silent, I returned to him.
“Very helpful,” Tenzin. “After a weeks, I felt I was able to communicate with the ants and giant cockroaches in my hut. I asked them to go somewhere else…and they listened.”
Tenzin smiled. “O, you are a quick learner. It took me twenty years before ants started listening to me.”
“So explain this to me, Tenzin. Is there some sort of magic in the universe that starts to help us when we pay attention to it?”
“You just have to go slower. People are so busy these days that they just don’t see the little miracles happening all around them. A few weeks ago you told me that you didn’t believe in reincarnation and that you were very sceptical about those people in Dharamsala who think that you are the reincarnation of Pantau.”
“Indeed. Well, I like to believe in it but it seems so difficult to understand. I don’t know much about Pantau and what he was all about. I wonder why this Tibetan guy decided to reincarnate into a Dutch person’s body. It’s too much hocus-pocus for me, Tenzin.”
“But you told me that some Tibetan had put you under hypnoses and that you started telling him about your previous life.”
“Yes. But I can’t remember what I said. I think it was a very deep hypnosis and I don’t trust those techniques. There is too much of a scientist in me. If there is one thing I have learned from the Dalai Lama it is not to trust anything automatically a person tells you. He said that one should hold every theory against the light and study it from every angle possible before accepting it as truth. Buddhism is not about blind faith. That is why I like His Holiness so much. He even accepts scientists to scrutinize everything he believes in. I like that.”
I took in a deep breath. “You know, Tenzin, I wish I would meet someone who could help me unraveling the mysteries of this Pantau-person. I may have adopted his name, but I want to know more about him. I want to feel more convinced of the concept of reincarnation. The astrologers of the Tibetan Mentsekhang discovered that, after Pantau died in the early 1960s, he reincarnated into a god. And this god decided to return to earth to be reborn in my body? You know Tenzin, I love the Tibetans and His Holiness, but really, if I go on television in the Netherlands talking about all this stuff, people will consider me to be completely nuts and lock me up in a mental hospital.”
Tenzin nodded. “Yes, I know. You want some tea?”
“Yes please.”
“Have you read the book A Course In Miracles?”
“No. Is it good?”
“Yes. A few years ago someone lend it to me. It’s a very big book, written decades ago. It will come to you when you are ready to receive it.”
“I see. Do you know any people in this area who can do regression therapy?”
“No.”
“I wish I would meet someone other that a Tibetan who could help me to travel back to my previous lives.”
“Well, if you can talk to ants and cockroaches, you can talk to the universe. Just send a message into the sky and attract what you desire to experience. Don’t WANT it, as that message will push it away from you, but ATTRACT it. After that it is just a matter of time.”
A little later I took my leave of Tenzin and started walking along the edge of the cliff, across the helicopter platform and further down to Beach Road. I turned right, walked onto the beach and entered the open-air restaurant called Somatheeram. Mr. Aje, the owner of the restaurant came up to me with a big smile. “Good evening, Pantau. How are you?”
“Hungry.”
“I have some beautiful red snapper for you. 100 rupees. You like it with coconut rice and some chapattis?”
“That sounds delicious, Mr Aje.”
“It’s very busy today. I don’t know why. Every table is taken. Perhaps you don’t mind sharing a table. Perhaps with that lonely lady overthere. She is German. Very nice woman. I can ask her if she doesn’t mind you sharing her table. She is about to finish dinner anyway.”
“German, huh. She speaks English?”
“Yes, she does.”
“Good. I don’t want to speak German today. I have been speaking German for months with my Japanese-German ex-fiancé and I am fed up with that language for the moment.”
Aje introduced me to the German woman. Her name was Heide P. and she was a slender, spectacles-wearing middle-aged woman. It was only 30 degrees but the woman looked visibly hot; she was sweating like a pig and kept wiping her forehead a neck with a cotton scarf.
I sat down at her table and smiled. “Sorry to invade your privacy. But if you’ve been in India for a while you know that there is no such thing as privacy over here.”
Heide giggled. “You look like someone who has been here for a while.”
“Ah! Can you tell?”
“Well, it’s the way you dress and the expression in your eyes. It shows that you have been studying the universe for a while.”
I looked up into the star-studded sky. “Well, I am just a beginner.”
I directed my eyes at Heide again. She looked at me with a strange expression.
“O my God,’ she said. “There is this white light flashing around you.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Pardon?”
“There is this light. O, there it is again! It’s a spirit.”
Okay, a German nutcase, I thought.
“What spirit?”
“You’re a very special person. There’s something about you. I wonder why I need to meet you?”
I kept quiet.
“Okay, just give me a moment.” She closed her eyes for a few moments. Then she looked at me intently. “There is a reason why we meet today. I can still see the light surrounding you. It’s very bright. It’s flashing to attract my attention. It’s a very powerful spirit. It’s telling me that I need to connect to you.”
I still remained quiet in an aura of scepticism.
“Don’t tell me anything about yourself. It will come to me,” she continued.
“Okay. Tell me something about you then.”
“I am from Cologne. I am very interested in spiritualism. For decades I have been studying a publication called A Course in Miracles. Actually, I knew the author and I read parts of the book before it was even published. I work as a regression-therapist in Germany.”
“Ah! That is interesting. Would you like to regress me to my previous lives some time?”
“Do you believe in rebirth?”
“On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I believe. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I don’t.”
“And on Sundays?”
“On Sundays I take a rest.”
Heide laughed. “I would like to work with you, because I see a spirit light flashing all over the place. It wants to be heard.”
Nutcase. An interesting nutcase, but definitely an interesting German nutcase.
“So how does regression-therapy work? You put people under hypnosis?”
“Not really. I put people in a trance. I will ask them some questions and guide the person through the conversation. Normally a session lasts about an hour.”
“I am interested.”
“Me too, because I don’t believe in coincidences and there is a reason why I am meeting you tonight. Also, I have never seen anyone with such a strong aura and this spirit light is overwhelming. After you finish your dinner, I wouldn’t mind coming to your room. Is it a quiet room?”
“Yes. It’s very basic but it’s cool and quiet. It’s also free from cockroaches and ants.”
“Good.” Heide looked at me more focused. “Did you know that during your immediate previous life you were a deity; a god-like state of being? I also see a very powerful male spirit. I am fascinated. I can’t wait to put you in a trance and find out more.”
I smiled. I looked up into the sky and observed the constellation of Orion. I took in a deep breath. I looked behind me to see if I could see the bright white spirit light, but couldn’t. Next to me I could only see a middle-aged German woman who was still sweating like a pig. I realized I came a long way in these past few years. I already started to open myself up for people like this German woman. I was looking forward to my first regression-therapy session..jpg)
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On November 26, 2001, I decided to travel down south. The moment I arrived in Varkala, I was in love with it. In 2001, Varkala was only known to the experienced back-packer and those foreigners who lived in India. It was only a little developed back then and the local fishermen still camped out on the beach at night close to their traditional wooden boats. There was a small Tibetan community as well that ran some Tibetan artifacts and handicraft shops on the 30-metre high cliff above the beach. There were few low-budget guesthouses hidden in the palm tree forest and about ten open-air restaurants and shops, all constructed from biodegradable construction material such as local palm leaves.
One day I was chatting with my new friends, Tenzin and Dolker, a Tibetan couple that ran a little Tibetan shop close to the place I was staying in. Though Tenzin had little education, he was fluent in English to the extend that he was able to teach me English words I never heard of before. Apart from that, he was one of the most spiritual Tibetans I have ever met. We would speak every day for hours about the workings of the matrix of the universe. One day he suggested me to be silent for a few weeks. Just don’t speak, observe and learn, was his advice. When I was done with being silent, I returned to him.
“Very helpful,” Tenzin. “After a weeks, I felt I was able to communicate with the ants and giant cockroaches in my hut. I asked them to go somewhere else…and they listened.”
Tenzin smiled. “O, you are a quick learner. It took me twenty years before ants started listening to me.”
“So explain this to me, Tenzin. Is there some sort of magic in the universe that starts to help us when we pay attention to it?”
“You just have to go slower. People are so busy these days that they just don’t see the little miracles happening all around them. A few weeks ago you told me that you didn’t believe in reincarnation and that you were very sceptical about those people in Dharamsala who think that you are the reincarnation of Pantau.”
“Indeed. Well, I like to believe in it but it seems so difficult to understand. I don’t know much about Pantau and what he was all about. I wonder why this Tibetan guy decided to reincarnate into a Dutch person’s body. It’s too much hocus-pocus for me, Tenzin.”
“But you told me that some Tibetan had put you under hypnoses and that you started telling him about your previous life.”
“Yes. But I can’t remember what I said. I think it was a very deep hypnosis and I don’t trust those techniques. There is too much of a scientist in me. If there is one thing I have learned from the Dalai Lama it is not to trust anything automatically a person tells you. He said that one should hold every theory against the light and study it from every angle possible before accepting it as truth. Buddhism is not about blind faith. That is why I like His Holiness so much. He even accepts scientists to scrutinize everything he believes in. I like that.”
I took in a deep breath. “You know, Tenzin, I wish I would meet someone who could help me unraveling the mysteries of this Pantau-person. I may have adopted his name, but I want to know more about him. I want to feel more convinced of the concept of reincarnation. The astrologers of the Tibetan Mentsekhang discovered that, after Pantau died in the early 1960s, he reincarnated into a god. And this god decided to return to earth to be reborn in my body? You know Tenzin, I love the Tibetans and His Holiness, but really, if I go on television in the Netherlands talking about all this stuff, people will consider me to be completely nuts and lock me up in a mental hospital.”
Tenzin nodded. “Yes, I know. You want some tea?”
“Yes please.”
“Have you read the book A Course In Miracles?”
“No. Is it good?”
“Yes. A few years ago someone lend it to me. It’s a very big book, written decades ago. It will come to you when you are ready to receive it.”
“I see. Do you know any people in this area who can do regression therapy?”
“No.”
“I wish I would meet someone other that a Tibetan who could help me to travel back to my previous lives.”
“Well, if you can talk to ants and cockroaches, you can talk to the universe. Just send a message into the sky and attract what you desire to experience. Don’t WANT it, as that message will push it away from you, but ATTRACT it. After that it is just a matter of time.”
A little later I took my leave of Tenzin and started walking along the edge of the cliff, across the helicopter platform and further down to Beach Road. I turned right, walked onto the beach and entered the open-air restaurant called Somatheeram. Mr. Aje, the owner of the restaurant came up to me with a big smile. “Good evening, Pantau. How are you?”
“Hungry.”
“I have some beautiful red snapper for you. 100 rupees. You like it with coconut rice and some chapattis?”
“That sounds delicious, Mr Aje.”
“It’s very busy today. I don’t know why. Every table is taken. Perhaps you don’t mind sharing a table. Perhaps with that lonely lady overthere. She is German. Very nice woman. I can ask her if she doesn’t mind you sharing her table. She is about to finish dinner anyway.”
“German, huh. She speaks English?”
“Yes, she does.”
“Good. I don’t want to speak German today. I have been speaking German for months with my Japanese-German ex-fiancé and I am fed up with that language for the moment.”
Aje introduced me to the German woman. Her name was Heide P. and she was a slender, spectacles-wearing middle-aged woman. It was only 30 degrees but the woman looked visibly hot; she was sweating like a pig and kept wiping her forehead a neck with a cotton scarf.
I sat down at her table and smiled. “Sorry to invade your privacy. But if you’ve been in India for a while you know that there is no such thing as privacy over here.”
Heide giggled. “You look like someone who has been here for a while.”
“Ah! Can you tell?”
“Well, it’s the way you dress and the expression in your eyes. It shows that you have been studying the universe for a while.”
I looked up into the star-studded sky. “Well, I am just a beginner.”
I directed my eyes at Heide again. She looked at me with a strange expression.
“O my God,’ she said. “There is this white light flashing around you.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Pardon?”
“There is this light. O, there it is again! It’s a spirit.”
Okay, a German nutcase, I thought.
“What spirit?”
“You’re a very special person. There’s something about you. I wonder why I need to meet you?”
I kept quiet.
“Okay, just give me a moment.” She closed her eyes for a few moments. Then she looked at me intently. “There is a reason why we meet today. I can still see the light surrounding you. It’s very bright. It’s flashing to attract my attention. It’s a very powerful spirit. It’s telling me that I need to connect to you.”
I still remained quiet in an aura of scepticism.
“Don’t tell me anything about yourself. It will come to me,” she continued.
“Okay. Tell me something about you then.”
“I am from Cologne. I am very interested in spiritualism. For decades I have been studying a publication called A Course in Miracles. Actually, I knew the author and I read parts of the book before it was even published. I work as a regression-therapist in Germany.”
“Ah! That is interesting. Would you like to regress me to my previous lives some time?”
“Do you believe in rebirth?”
“On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I believe. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I don’t.”
“And on Sundays?”
“On Sundays I take a rest.”
Heide laughed. “I would like to work with you, because I see a spirit light flashing all over the place. It wants to be heard.”
Nutcase. An interesting nutcase, but definitely an interesting German nutcase.
“So how does regression-therapy work? You put people under hypnosis?”
“Not really. I put people in a trance. I will ask them some questions and guide the person through the conversation. Normally a session lasts about an hour.”
“I am interested.”
“Me too, because I don’t believe in coincidences and there is a reason why I am meeting you tonight. Also, I have never seen anyone with such a strong aura and this spirit light is overwhelming. After you finish your dinner, I wouldn’t mind coming to your room. Is it a quiet room?”
“Yes. It’s very basic but it’s cool and quiet. It’s also free from cockroaches and ants.”
“Good.” Heide looked at me more focused. “Did you know that during your immediate previous life you were a deity; a god-like state of being? I also see a very powerful male spirit. I am fascinated. I can’t wait to put you in a trance and find out more.”
I smiled. I looked up into the sky and observed the constellation of Orion. I took in a deep breath. I looked behind me to see if I could see the bright white spirit light, but couldn’t. Next to me I could only see a middle-aged German woman who was still sweating like a pig. I realized I came a long way in these past few years. I already started to open myself up for people like this German woman. I was looking forward to my first regression-therapy session.
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Left: Mr. Aje, the owner of Somatheeram Restaurant; right, his waiter; below, his cook.
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